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are you a monkey or a typewriter?


Posted on | February 3, 2012 | No Comments

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English, Russian

Posted on | October 10, 2011 | No Comments

Have you ever wondered why Russians in the most English-speaking movies look and sound so evil and brutal, rude etc.?

Well, I have the answer now that I watched RocknRolla movie.

You see, they don’s speak Russian. They speak pseudo-Russian and to a Russian person it sounds quite like Russian English sounds to an American or a Brit. Ugly. That’s why it sounds ugly, not because the language itself is ugly.


Google, translate

Posted on | October 8, 2011 | 1 Comment

Google translate is one of the best automatic translations out there. But sometimes it gives you translations like:


“Reserve army of the trees is much overlap”



Posted on | October 2, 2011 | 3 Comments

Just when I thought that the Internet has nothing more to shock me with…

…creepy fake realistic women dolls. And fake men dolls.


They should be cheap and readily available. It will serve as a great birth control measure.

Global problem (overpopulation) solved!

Happiness is a scam

Posted on | October 1, 2011 | 2 Comments

Today I was thinking about writing a book.

And, of course, I was looking for a topic I know and that people would like to know more about.

So, I came up with an overused but still quite spot-on (in terms of promising value) title “How to become happy”.

So, the scientific area in my brain told me that before achieving something you have to define what exactly you’re trying to achieve. So, what is happiness?

I don’t know.

I bet you don’t know.

I bet nobody knows.

I bet if someone gave you a definition, you would disagree or add something to that definition.

I think, as is the case with many abstract feelings-words (love, passion, friendship), the word “happiness” has no real meaning. But, oddly enough, I had almost no problems in finding a synonym.


If you think of it, what happiness is, is actually a state of satisfaction.

But well… I can’t call my book “How to be satisfied”. Nobody wants that… Because everybody knows how to achieve that.

That’s called branding.

Happiness is a powerful brand. Nothing more.

Foreign language dialogues

Posted on | September 28, 2011 | No Comments

I love them! I adore them! Every time I see a dialogue in a language I’m somewhat familiar with I like to speak for different people in funny voices and intonations.

Some of my characters speak fast, some slow.

Some are polite, some are not so much.

Some are women, children, some are old men.

Some sound like a yakuza, others like a priest.


And what else I like about the dialogues is that they are usually short. So, it’s not like you’re stuck with these characters for 300 pages (like it can be with a play).

I know of no other way of making myself create many funny, cute, scary, “high-society” characters and then quickly dispose of them.


And don’t forget a bonus of actually learning a language.


Posted on | September 26, 2011 | 1 Comment

You know… There is one thing about Japanese language I have mixed feelings about.

It’s the kanji.

When in any other (almost any) language you can at least read what’s written because there are letters, in Japanese language you just see those hieroglyphs and… that’s it. Then everything depends on your knowledge, skill.

Currently, I’m on that level when there are 3 types of hieroglyphs:

1. I know what this means and I know how to say it.

2. I know what this means and I have no idea how to say it.

3. I’ve seen this kanji somewhere…


What entertains me the most is when a word consists of two or more kanjis and I know only one of them.

So, translating into English, a sentence might look like this: “I like to go to a cin…”. And I have an idea that the word “cin…” is something about pictures, maybe movies. But I have no idea how to say that word. It means, I can’t learn it.


Synesthesia TED talk

Posted on | September 25, 2011 | 1 Comment

Well, the talk is not just about synesthesia (starts on 17th minute), but it was very interesting anyway.

Basically, it appears that we can mix any kind of senses together and it’s quite normal.

Maybe, it is the mechanism of how we, humans, can come up with unique ideas all the time.

Deadly arousal

Posted on | September 25, 2011 | 1 Comment

Have you ever thought about why people have wars and why we keep developing new and new ways to kill each other?

Why we don’t kill each other with knives and sticks?

I can tell you why. If you see any kind of development, it means that there are money for it.

And if there are money, someone wants it to be done. Either a businessman (wants a new iPad developed and sold to millions) or a politician (wants to have a better rocket to kill enemies).

It’s actually fascinating that the very value, human life, the highest value of the West, actually makes us come up with more powerful and effective ways to take each others’ life. More lives you can take more “powerful” you are.

I bet a politician/president/”president”(in Africa)/king/General doesn’t ever get a stronger hard-on than from imagining his rockets/bombs/bullets killing other people, taking the most precious they have. “Here you go, puny, small people. Prepare to receive my bullets and explosions! I am the power!”

Have you noticed that the vast majority of projectiles have a bit penis-like form? I suspect, if they were round, square or a disc-like they wouldn’t be approved for financing.

“We don’t need a weapon that doesn’t look like a dick” would be the subconscious reasoning.

If we want to stop wars, we should spend more time educating our children how to be happy, how to have normal and fulfilling relationships and not to desire the “power” of “fucking” lives out of others with the penis-like bullets and rockets or his soldiers.


Posted on | September 24, 2011 | 1 Comment

I’m no neurologist, so, obviously, I’m not qualified to make diagnoses.

Nonetheless, back when I was a kid I started noticing that nobody else experienced a strange thing I felt.

I could feel what other people feel when I looked at them. So, I could sense the mood, if a person feels pain, I could feel their attitude towards another person or a situation. Sometimes, I even could feel what kind of personality the other person is without ever talking to him/her.

And then I found it to be quite disturbing.

Back at school I liked a girl. The funniest thing was that I’ve never talked to her. Didn’t ever need to talk to her to know how she felt, how was her day. Her body language gave out much more than her words could ever do.

And then I realized that I was perceiving a powerful channel of information and it sometimes was stronger than any other.

So, why would I need to talk, if I can feel it?

The next “revelation” was that people are used to communicate verbally. And I found my “skill” to be quite distracting.

How could anyone ever understand me if I’m quiet? How could she possible like me back if I never talked to her?

I started “jamming” the signal. I was repeating “it doesn’t matter”, “don’t pay attention, it’s just in your head”.

Since then these “senses” almost disappeared. Sometimes, they came back, stayed for a while and, not being used, disappeared again.

But today… Just now…

I happened to walk into the kitchen just when my cat was eating.

I came closer and I was observing. There was nothing strange about her eating.

She was taking a piece of food after a piece. She was chewing it and swallowing.

But what was strange was that I actually felt as if I was eating the food.

I could feel it on my tongue, I could feel the taste and touch of the food.

I could feel the jaw muscle strain. I could feel the muscles of my back as if they were hers and held my head above the plate.

I felt how the food was going down my/her throat. It felt that there was no difference between the two of us.


So, how can it be in my head if I only feel it when seeing the outside world?


Maybe someday I will be able to answer the question. Maybe I will be able to put a clever label on this kind of situation.

For now I will call it synesthesia.

After all, I feel that number 5 is a father, 6 is his sister, who is married and has 7 and 8 as her children. 9 is a grandmother.

Yes, this is crazy.

keep looking »
  • read this:

    nirvana [nɪə'vɑːnə] - a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma. It represents the final goal of Buddhism